Rev. Dr. Samuel Somuah Asante is an ordained minister of the gospel, who is commissioned to project the Lord Jesus Christ. His ministry emphasis is on th divine elevation of the believer in Christ. He believes strongly that all who are in Christ have the privilege to live above sin and failure, walk in righteousness and the resurrected life of Christ. He encourages Christians, especially pastors, to live a life that manifests the glory of God through them. Rev. Somuah is a graduate of the Kwame Nkrumah University of Science & Technology (KNUST), Ghana and holds a Masters degree in Theology from International Theological Seminary (Ghana Campus), and a PhD in Biblical Studies from ZOE Theological Seminar (USA). He is the Chief Servant of Jesus Witness Ministry, based in Taifa-Burkina, Accra. He is married to Rev. (Mrs.) Doris Somuah Asante and are blessed with two sons, Samuel and Arnold. They make their home in Accra, Ghana.


KEY SCRIPTURE: 1 Peter 3:8-9 ” Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous:

Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing”.

The above scripture was meant for the wider church setting, yet it is very applicable to the home of couples.

The verse 9 says we must not render evil for evil. Dear couple as long as you live with another person there would be offences, Matthew 18:7. You must make room for offences. This does not mean you keep offending each other. There are some people who find it very difficult to say, “I am sorry”. They would give all kinds of excuses to justify their errors. It is pride that makes people defend their own errors. Marriage is never an individualistic venture,. The day you accept to get married you said you were sacrificing your independence in handling issues to a cooperate approach to issues of life. Your actions must always anticipate the bigger interest of the two than your singular approach.

 Divorce is mainly a result of people who enter marriage with an independent mind. Such people would not normally say “I am sorry neither will they accept apologies of offended couples. Forgiveness is a very necessary virtue in the home. The scripture says in Ephesians 4:32 “And be ye kind one to another, even as God for Christ sake hath forgiven you.” God has forgiven us on the account of the sacrifice of our Lord Jesus. He has suffered for us. Why would you not forgive your spouse?

The world have accepted divorce as an answer to offences that go on in marriages. All these are Satan’s prescription to break the marital home. Listen to what the Lord says in Malachi 2:16a “For the Lord, the God of Israel saith that he hateth putting away…..” God says He hates divorce. It is very strange for some couples mentioning offences upon offences which they claim they have forgiven. They rehearse a number of offences each time a new one is committed. . Anyone who does this never forgave in the first place.  A matter forgiven should not be rehearsed.


I love my spouse and therefore do not seek my advantage. I will always forgive errors and offences and will lay that matter to rest forever. I seek the ultimate good of both of us and indeed we will always triumph.


Malachi 2:16 “For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit that ye deal not treacherously”.

1 Peter 3:10-11. For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile: Let him eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and ensue it.


KEY SCRIPTURE: Revelation 12:9 “And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him”.

The stability and proper functioning of families is the stability and peace of our world. This reason makes Satan hate the unity of every marriage and would do everything to destroy the home.

Many people do not know Satan is against marriages and that their marriage is also a target of the enemy. Is it just for nothing to find a number of husbands becoming unfaithful to their wives and all sorts of extra marital advances? Who is behind these influence?

Many times the slightest misunderstanding between some couples turns to very grave anger leading to buttering of the wives and even divorce. There are certain individuals who may be so much in love prior to the marriage, only to become great enemies just after they have married. What is all these? There are invisible beings who hate all men. These beings influence these course of events.

I have encountered wives who have uncontrollable anger and would do things just to make the husband decide to break the marriage. During deliverance sessions, it comes to the fore that these ladies are controlled by supernatural beings who pose as spiritual husbands. Some women under such influences can’t just have stable homes. A lot of negative things happen to them and their home.

The simple truth about this is that Satan hate marriages and would do everything to break it up.

What must couples do? Every couple must be committed to the word of God and prayer. The scripture said put on the whole armour of God that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. (Ephesians 6:11) Satan and his demons speak to the minds of men. Be ready to refuse, and resist thoughts that are unscriptural and sinful. Thoughts that gear you to hate your spouse and seek other supposedly “comfortable” arms must be refused.

Pray often with your wife and declare the peace of God over your home. Make declarations about being faithful to your spouse, having victory over the devil and the fact that your marriage is forever. Don’t relent, Satan can’t destroy your home if you stand your ground.


My marriage is established by God. I am not ignorant of the devil’s devices to attack my home. In Jesus name Satan is forever defeated and would not have any part in me or my spouse.


Ephesians 6:12-13 “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand”.

Matthew 13:25” But while men slept, his enemy came and sowed tares among the wheat, and went his way”.


KEY SCRIPTURE: Ephesians 5:28. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

To understand life, ourselves and our relationship with others, we have to go to the Holy Scriptures. The bible is a perfect standard for living.

In all our deliberations so far, we have realised that marriage is a relationship between a man and a woman who  have become one flesh.. If the man loves his wife, then he loves himself. . Please take time to meditate on this. The proceeding verse says no man ever hate his own flesh, but nourish and cherishes it. He gives the best of treatment to it. Do same to your wife.

There are quite a number of men who are doing their best for their wives yet they seem not appreciate their efforts. Are the wives being ungrateful? May be yes or no. She may appreciate what the man is providing, yet there is an expectation that the man, may not be meeting. . (PLEASE GET GARY CHAPMAN’S BOOK,’THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES’) and read.

1st Peter 3:7a says “Likewise, ye husband dwell with [them] according to knowledge…” You need knowledge to live happily with your wife. The same also goes for the wife as well.

Some men are so committed to their jobs seeking to make enough money to get everything for the home. They stay at work till late and when they are at home, they are still beside the computer or laptops. Despite all their efforts the wife is not happy and pleased. What is going on here? Remember the bible said in Genesis 3:16b. “……and their (woman) desire shall be to their husband….”  The gadgets in the home and all the monies to pay whatever bills, are very good and excellent, but the desire of the woman according to God is neither any of these but to her husband. Among all the efforts you are making to get the home running, make time to be with your wife. She needs you to be present with her. Get the Televisions off and all other detractors off so you could have some moments together. Love means seeking to meet one another’s concerns.

The wife must also be interested in the very things that the man is occupied with. Men are goal oriented beings and would always want to achieve certain targets. Don’t be a stranger to the world of your husband.

Be very interested in the things that occupy him. Marriage is a two way affair each party must play his/her role to make a very happy home.


I am one with my spouse and must seek to know that which interests my spouse, and show my love for him or her by doing it.


1 Peter 3:7 ” Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”

1 Peter 3:8-9 “Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.”


KEY SCRIPTURE: Genesis 2:18 “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him”.

Marriage is a blessing and not a curse. God Himself said “it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him”. God set up marriage to meet certain needs in the lives of both man and woman. These needs include:

  1. Complementing the man and the woman’s need. (Gen 2:18)
  2. Companionship. (Gen 2:18)
  3. Assisting each partner to fulfill his or her assignment in life (Gen 2:18).
  4. Procreation. (Malachi 2:15)
  5. Sexual needs. (1st Corinth 7:2)

A man I heard trying to describe his concept of marriage said that, marriage is a cage in which if you happen to enter, you cannot free yourself. This view is held by quite a number of people, but is very wrong and its source is from the pit of hell.

God Himself implied that marriage is good. When the apostle Paul, talked about some of the things he could have enjoyed, but willingly sacrificed was marriage. 1st Corinthians 9:6 “Have we not power to lead about a sister, a wife as well as other apostles…”. Apostle Paul meant marriage is good thing but he had sacrificed it.

Marriage is a very good institution yet many couples are hurting daily. Husbands complain and wives feel as if they are in hell. Why is this so?

Many people are caught in this web of confusion because they have not understood the basic principle of marriage. MARRIAGE IS AN INSTITUTION SET UP BY GOD FOR MAN AND WOMAN, IN WHICH THE PRIMARY TASK IS THAT, PARTNERS MUST SEEK THE SATISFACTION OF THEIR PARTNER’S FIRST BEFORE THEIR OWN. God said in Genesis 2:18 “And the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone: I will make him an help meet for him”. God made the woman to be a help meet for the man. Now note also that the man is likewise supposed to be a helper for the woman. The ministry of helps couldn’t have been one way. If each partner seeks the joy of the other, the hurting would be greatly minimized, and the home would be a joyful place.

When it becomes a task of both parties to seek the satisfaction, comfort and joy of their partners FIRST then the true purpose of marriage would be seen. Don’t go into marriage to take, or to get, enter marriage to give .I believe this portion should be added to the marriage vows. That is to ask both partners ‘ARE YOU PREPARED TO SEEK THE SATISFACTION, COMFORT, AND JOY OF YOUR PARTNER FIRST BEFORE YOURS?‘(Philippians 2:3&4)


Marriage is not a parasitic relationship. I have dedicated my role in marriage to bring satisfaction, comfort and joy to my partner first.  There is a constant joy at home as this is done.


Philippians 2:3-4 .Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.

1 Corinthians 13:4-5 “Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil”;


KEY SCRIPTURE: Ephesians 5:26-27 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

Our key scripture says the Lord sanctifies and cleanses the church with the word of God which washes the church. He does this to present the church to Himself, a glorious church not having spot, or wrinkle.

To all couples, what sort of words do you give each other? Please understand that women are amazing people. They multiply whatever you give them. Give a woman a seed (sperm) and she would give you a baby. Give her some money and you will have food for the whole family. Give her small trouble and she would multiply it and give you big trouble. If you give harsh words to your wife be sure that your happiness in the home would be seriously eroded.

Husbands share the word of God with your wives. The Bible says she is the weaker vessel. The greatest need of every woman is security, you complicate her emotions when you use harsh words on her. It is love that soothe her sense of insecurity. When the wife also say words that hurt they generate wrong responses from the man. Give what you expect your spouse to give back to you. The following are the kind of words that you have to give to your partner.

  1. Words of appreciation: that is showing appreciation for your partner doing certain duties.
  2. Words of encouragement. Words that strengthens your partner to keep doing something that he/she is getting discouraged about.
  3. Kind words: when you tell your spouse words like you are special to me. I love you. After my salvation, you in my life is the second best thing that happened to me. These are kind words. I realised such words are lost in most marriages. Please do mean them when you say them.
  4. Humble words: when you add please to whatever request you seek to make from your spouse.

All such words go a long way to stir in your spouse a sense of respect and love that makes him / her come out with his/her best.

The bible says the Lord sanctifies and cleanses the church with the washing of water which is the word and prepares the church for Himself. All the right words prepare your spouse for yourself.

If you have not been relating this way, repent and change your ways for a blissful family life.


Words are very powerful either to build up or to destroy. I will always say words of scripture to bless and lift my spouse to be what she or he should be.


Colossians 4:6 “Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man”.

James 1:19-20  ” Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:  For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God”.


KEY SCRIPTURE: Ephesians 5:23 ” For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body”.

Marriage is God’s idea and it fulfills His ultimate purpose for humanity if His prescriptions for marriage is adhered to. The Bible is God’s manual for human living, believes and practices. It presents the perfect teachings and pictures of how marriage should be.

Our key scripture says “For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church and the saviour of the body”.

 This scripture must be understood in its proper perspective. The Bible teaches clearly that the husband is the head of the wife. It compares that to Christ being the head of the church, but quickly added that He is also the saviour of the body. Christ’s work of saving the church was an act of selflessness prompted by love. He sought for the ultimate good of the church. He was not Lord to bully the body but acted to give the highest comfort to the body.

Husband’s role as the head of the wife is not a position of superiority but for order in the home. The wife must wholeheartedly acknowledge the man as the head and never attempt to assume leadership. Any act of insubordination or an attempt to dominate the husband is a rebellion against the standard God has set in the home

The man is the head, the woman can be said to be the neck. Each one is very important and indispensable.

 The two are never two separate individuals but one body with one purpose. That is why there are no two heads, but one, supported by the neck. Without the neck, the head cannot function. There is therefore the need for perfect cooperation. This perfect cooperation is made possible by love. The husband, who is the head must always act and take   decisions that preserves, comforts and satisfies the body. If the actions of the husband affects the body wrongly, the husband would also suffer because it is one body.

The main problem in most homes is that husbands and wives see themselves as separate individuals and do things independently.

 The mystery of marriage is that two people become one. This excludes any other extra marital affairs with any one whatsoever. (Ephesians 5:32)

 Satan’s attacks on marriages is because of this oneness. Never allow the devil to destroy this oneness.


I accept my role in the home in the light of God’s word. Love would always be my motivation in all I do.


Malachi 2:15  ” And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth”.

Ephesians 5:31 ” For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh”.



KEY SCRIPTURE: Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it”;

For couples to understand how God wants their marriages to go, they must look at the relationship between our Lord Jesus and the church.

In our previous study we considered the role of the wife to the husband as related to Christ and the church. Today we will consider the role of the husband to the wife in the same way that is between Christ and the church. The scripture says, husbands love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it.

Husbands don’t start saying your standard is too high. The Lord would never ask you to do what you cannot do. The word always carries with it the ability to do what it says. Accept you can. Husbands can love their wives just as Christ loved the church. Christ was selfless, considerate, supportive, and gave His best to the church. Husbands must do the same. It is rather strange when you hear some men say marriage is just a friendship and you can always break one friendship and make a new one. Dear child of God, the word of God is our standard, our yardstick, and our rule. When you stay with it, you would be successful and victorious, but if you ignore it, Satan will take over your life and tear your home and life apart.

Jesus could not have another woman outside the church. Could you imagine the Lord mistreating the church in any way? It is strange for a child of God to beat up his wife. How can you love your wife and keep telling lies to your wife.

The standard of Christian marriage is Christ and the church. Whatever Christ has is for the church, we are joint heirs with Christ (Romans 8:17). Husband you are also a joint owner of whatever you have with your wife. Husband, please get this clear, you really begin to enjoy life and for that matter marriage life when you truly love your wife.

Anything that makes you mistreat your wife is your real enemy. (Malachi 2:15)

If you have not lived with your wife and your marriage this way, then repent, take a good look at the relationship between Jesus and the church and pattern your life and marriage that way. LET THE WORD RULE YOU.


Jesus and the church is the perfect example of God’s idea of marriage, I would pattern my life and marriage that way, so I would enjoy true peace and victory in life.


John 15:13 Greater love hath no man than this that a man lay down his life for his friends.

1 Peter 3:7 ” Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered”.