RULED BY THE WORD IN OUR HOMES 14

KEY SCRIPTURE: Proverbs 22:6 ” Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it”

Parenting is a very critical issue. The current state of affairs in our world is directly related to the sort of parenting people give to their children. Many of us complain about technology and the social media yet everything will be laid at the doorstep of parenting.

Susan Wesley, the mother of Charles and John Wesley had about fifteen children. Although some of her children died. She successfully raised her children such that, the  following was what Robert Liardon wrote about her in  his book God’s General , ” each child  who grew into adulthood left the Wesley home with a trained mind, a pure heart and a sincere passion for the Lord”. How many children in these days could be described this way?

The Bible is filled with lots of examples of men who were very successful in their fields of endeavour, but were very poor parents. A few examples were ELI, SAMUEL AND DAVID.

Eli was a man who loved the Lord yet he failed miserably in raising his children. The following is what the Lord said in 1 Samuel 3:13 ” For I have told him that I will judge his house for ever for the iniquity which he knoweth; because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not”.

Eli knew how his sons behaved yet he did not restrain them. The bible said in 1st Samuel 2:12, that the sons of Eli were sons of Belial, they knew not the Lord. To be the sons of Belial means to be worthless or unprofitable. The cause of all these was that they knew not the Lord.

The question is how could a man of God in the calibre of Eli who judged the Israelites for forty years raise children who knew not the Lord?

Our key scripture says train up a child in the way that he must go, and when he is old he would not depart from it. Training involves teaching and practicing. This demands having time with the child, informing and helping him or her to do the things you are informing him or her.

From the above explanation of training we can just realise Eli had no time for his sons right from infancy. He was busy serving God but forgot to train his sons who were to succeed him. They knew not the Lord, but they knew their stomach and pleasure. They forcefully took meat sacrificed to the Lord and ate. They even slept with some of the ladies. Eli and his family lost the priestly line and died, all because of his sons. Many of us are failing terribly in this aspect and the consequences are very serious.

Dear child of God, God desires children who know and fear Him (Malachi 2:15).Do not fail to raise your children to know and fear Him..

 CONFESSION

It is my Godly duty to raise children who know and fear the Lord. I would give attention to my children and help them become what God expects of them.

FURTHER STUDIES

Genesis 18:19 ” For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him”.

Mark 10:14 ” But when Jesus saw it, he was much displeased, and said unto them, Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God”.

RULED BY THE WORD IN OUR HOMES 13.

KEY SCRIPTURE:  Genesis 2:18 “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him”.

As we draw the curtain on our discussion on marriage to an end,, we take a recap of some of the things we learnt.

Marriage is God’s idea which He established between a man and a woman purposely to meet the needs in each person, for procreation and assisting one another to fulfill his or her God given assignment.

 God assigned roles to both parties. Dear husband or wife your allegiance is first and foremost to God, in the role assigned to you. Ephesians 5:22, 25 “Wives submit yourself unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. Husband love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it”. These roles were not made by the pastor or any group. God established it. You fulfill the idea God has for you in marriage as you observe your role as diligently as you can.. You don’t submit to your husband because he is kind and considerate, you do so because God asked you to play that role. The husband does not love his wife because she is a good woman, but because God said so.

In marriage the two become one flesh and so every deed must be for the common good of the two. The man is the head and the woman is the body. No man hates his body, he loves cherishes and nourishes it. Your wife is your own body, treat her like your very skin. The man is the head of the woman and must be allowed to lead as the wife reverences him and obeys him. Since the two are one, nothing should be done to break this unity. (Matthew 19:6).

Fornication is one main thing that can dissolve a marriage (Matthew 19:9). Couples can still forgive their partners and accept them yet they must denounce the act and make vows of commitment so the marriage would be properly reinstated.

Divorce is a terrible thing and God says He hates divorce Malachi 2:16. Divorce adversely affects both man and woman, destroys the morals of the children and can bring the couples under an unbreakable curse.

Divorce is basically a product of bitterness. As the actions, omissions and events in the marriage go to hurt, offend each other. In time partners grow bitter if they do not forgive. When bitterness have fully grown the pain in the heart, mind and even emotions of the partners become unbearable and so divorce become a solution to ease this pain.

 Well this pain called bitterness could be avoided by turning from yourself to God and His word, so you receive strength to overcome the evil with good.

  CONFESSION

Thank you heavenly Father for the insight gained through these studies I would pattern my marriage according to the word of God so I live to glorify Him as well as enjoy my marriage life.

FURTHER STUDIES.

Ephesians 5:22-25 “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;”

Malachi 2:14-16 ” Yet ye say, wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.  And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.  For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit that ye deal not treacherously”.

RULED BY THE WORD IN OURS HOMES 12.

 

KEY SCRIPTURE: Hebrews 12:15 “Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled”;

People enter into marriage on the bases of *love but divorce on the bases of bitterness.

Bitterness is feeling of hurt and pain which is a reaction to a mistreatment or wrong behaviour, actions or faults from a second person or situation. A person who has become bitter feels satisfied when
1. The offender is punished or suffers similar mistreatment.
2. He or she is taken away or separated from him.
This is what would make a bitter individual feel satisfied. (Gene 4:1-8), (2nd Samuel 13:28).

In the above stories, Cain felt so bitter against Abel to the point that eliminating him was the only thing that would satisfy him.

When bitterness gets to its peak, it’s like an unbearable pain, getting of that individual out of your life is equated to soothing the pain or overcoming the pain. Well this is not the whole truth.Every child of God always have an option between choosing to be bitter or showing love,which will put strength in you to face every adversity with ease.

Our key scripture says “we must look diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God….”. Bitterness means you have forsaken God’s provision of grace. As I said earlier ,everyone of us, can express true love and care if only we would turn our attention from ourselves unto God and His word. We would show love instead of a self centred, self seeking attitude which only make us feel bad, cheated and may be humiliated as well. All these feelings are really alien to us, as a children of God, with God’s love shared abroad in our heart. Tell yourself ‘God’s word says I must not be bitter so I would not be bitter’. Say to yourself’ I would forgive and show true Jesus love’. To prevent a divorce don’t give in to bitterness.

Bitterness would always make you punish your spouse any how? With the mistreatment or punishment he or she would also retaliate. This aggravates the pain in each others life.The end is to break apart. Please stop that crazy cycle by doing what God says. LET THE WORD RULE YOU EVEN IN YOUR HOME .

Man love your wife and woman respect your husband. This is God’s instruction just do it. Divorce can not result.

CONFESSION
I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. This includes actions that are not pleasant,yet I would overcome the evil with good.

FURTHER STUDIES.

Job 21:25 ” And another dieth in the bitterness of his soul, and never eateth with pleasure”.

Isaiah 38:17 ” Behold, for peace I had great bitterness: but thou hast in love to my soul delivered it from the pit of corruption: for thou hast cast all my sins behind thy back”.

 

 

RULED BY THE WORD IN OUR HOMES 11.

KEY SCRIPTURE: Malachi 2:16 ” For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously”.

The Lord says He hates divorce. Why would God hate anything? There are very grave consequences that should make us also dislike divorce.

.1 DIVORCE, AN ACT OF TREACHERY

In our key scripture the Lord describes divorce as an act of treachery or violence. Some men because of their privileged positions, that is financially better than the wives, mistreat them and send them parking away at very trivial issues. These women are often left devastated. Every divorce is like separating two papers that have been glued together. You can never have a complete separation of them. Pieces of the one would be left in the other. Divorce never leaves anyone in his original state,

  1. DIVORCE DESTROYS GOD’S AIM OF HAVING GODLY CHILDREN.

 Malachi 2:15 reads “And did not he make one, yet had he the   residue of the spirit. And wherefore one, that he might seek a godly seed”: God says he brought his children together, that they may raise godly seed. Divorce destroys God’s vision from coming to pass in the life of the children. Our world is filled with a lot of hurting people. The abundance of violence, sexual perversions and so much confusion in our world come from broken homes. On listening to reports of the police, in every ten armed robbers arrested, seven of them come from broken homes.

3. DIVORCE IS A VIOLATION OF THE COVENANT MADE BEFORE GOD.

The scripture says, what God has joined together, let no man put a sunder(Matt 19:6). Divorce breaks what God has joined together.

4. DIVORCE MAY BRING PEOPLE UNDER AN UNBREAKABLE CURSE. The scripture says “And I say unto you whosoever shall put away his wife except it be for fornication and shall marry another committeth adultery, and whoso marries her which is put away does commit adultery (Matt 19:9. If you remarry after a divorce not on the grounds of fornication you are committing adultery. Remember sin is a reproach unto any people. (Proverbs 13:34) This sin becomes a curse because nothing takes it away from you, until you break that marriage and go back to your first wife. The man who marries a divorced woman according to the scripture also commits adultery.

Divorce is a satanic weapon against God and men, don’t entertain it in your mind. It makes you an enemy of God.

 CONFESSION

God says He hates divorce and to be on the safer side, I also hate divorce, I will not entertain it. I refuse it. In the name of Jesus, the trap of divorce shall  never take a hold over me.

FURTHER STUDIES.

Matthew 19:6,  “Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”

Malachi 2:14 “” Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant”.

RULED BY THE WORD IN OUR HOMES 10.

KEY SCRIPTURE: Matthew 19:9 ” And I say unto you, whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery”.

What is fornication and why is it such a serious matter that, God says it is the main act that can determine or warrant the breaking up of marriage?

Fornication is from the Greek word “PORNEA”. It means illicit sex that comprises, adultery, homosexualism, lesbianism, beastiality (intercourse between man and animal), incest. God designed sex only for the married home between a man and woman. Hebrews 13: 4 “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge”.

The Lord says when a man and a woman are joined together, they become one flesh. Matthew 19:5. If any of the two, that is the man or woman goes into sexual act with any other person, he or she  has destroyed that oneness that has been established. 1st Corinthians 6:16 ” What know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? For two saith he shall be one flesh”. You become one flesh with whosoever you join with in sex. We can’t have three, four people being one flesh. This is pure confusion. Polygamy, therefore is not the idea of God. God allowed it under the old covenant because of imperfection of that dispensation.

Fornication in the sight of God is a very serious act. 1st Corinthians 6:18 “Flee fornication, every sin that a man doeth is without the body, but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body”. Satan knowing its seriousness has pushed this agenda so strongly. The world has downplayed on it so much that, they see nothing wrong with it.. Please reject it with every fiber of your being.

What should a couple do when one falls into fornication? The offended can decide to forgive and accept the partner back, but must go through a process of denouncing the act. He or she may then be prayed for by a minister of the gospel and then make the marriage vows to reestablish the marriage again.( This process is not stated in the scriptures but would seriously deal with the unfaithfulness in the home) The act of fornication made the marriage null and void and the marriage must be properly reinstated.

Please don’t play with illicit sexual maters. God sees it as a very serious thing.

 CONFESSION

My body is the temple of God, and as a married man or woman I am one with my partner. No illicit sexual relationship can therefore occur between me and any other individual. I live to glorify God in my body and to keep faith with my partner.

FURTHER STUDIES.

1 Corinthians 6:15  ” Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid”.

Matthew 5:32 ” But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery”.

RULED BY THE WORD IN OUR HOMES 9.

 

KEY SCRIPTURE: Malachi 2:16 For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.

The rate at which marriages end in divorce is alarming. Many people have accepted it as the norm. The word of God is forever the same. Divorce is not something God’s word treats lightly.

The Lord gave quite a straight forward teaching on divorce and remarriage in Matthew 19:1-10. In the verse 10, the disciples considering the severity of Jesus statement said “His disciples say unto Him, if the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry”. What did the Lord say that caused His disciples to remark that way? In verse 9 the Lord said ” And I say unto you whosoever shall put away his wife except it be for fornication, and shall marry another committeth adultery and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commith adultery”. This goes to the men who claims their wives do not respect so they put them away ,or vice versa the woman claims the man’s financial state is not good and so she leaves to marry another person.

Jesus disciples’ understanding the consequences, said then it is not good to get married in the first place. The implication is that the christian must not start thinking about divorce in very trivial matters that does not bother on marital unfaithfulness. The Lord said, if you do so ,you have committed adultery, if you get married to another woman. My follow up question is ,when you divorce your wife for any other reason, other than fornication,but on a very trivial issues, and then you go and marry again. When would that sin of Adultery be washed away ? Has modernization changed God’s laws and standards. “If you die in your state of marriage to a new woman or new man where would your soul go”. Remember what the disciples deduced from Jesus teaching,”His disciples say unto Him, if the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry”.

Dear child of God, divorce is not an option for you ,if the problem bothers on very trivial matters. Be careful you don’t loose your eternal salvation because of this.

CONFESSION
God hates divorce. I would not consider it in my handling of issues in my marriage. Marital difference must definitely be sorted out, but not by divorce.

FURTHER STUDIES.

Matthew 5:32 ” But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery”.

1 Corinthians 7:10-11 “And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife”.

 

RULED BY THE WORD IN OUR HOMES 8.

KEY SCRIPTURE: 1 Peter 3:8-9 ” Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous:

Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing”.

The above scripture was meant for the wider church setting, yet it is very applicable to the home of couples.

The verse 9 says we must not render evil for evil. Dear couple as long as you live with another person there would be offences, Matthew 18:7. You must make room for offences. This does not mean you keep offending each other. There are some people who find it very difficult to say, “I am sorry”. They would give all kinds of excuses to justify their errors. It is pride that makes people defend their own errors. Marriage is never an individualistic venture,. The day you accept to get married you said you were sacrificing your independence in handling issues to a cooperate approach to issues of life. Your actions must always anticipate the bigger interest of the two than your singular approach.

 Divorce is mainly a result of people who enter marriage with an independent mind. Such people would not normally say “I am sorry neither will they accept apologies of offended couples. Forgiveness is a very necessary virtue in the home. The scripture says in Ephesians 4:32 “And be ye kind one to another, even as God for Christ sake hath forgiven you.” God has forgiven us on the account of the sacrifice of our Lord Jesus. He has suffered for us. Why would you not forgive your spouse?

The world have accepted divorce as an answer to offences that go on in marriages. All these are Satan’s prescription to break the marital home. Listen to what the Lord says in Malachi 2:16a “For the Lord, the God of Israel saith that he hateth putting away…..” God says He hates divorce. It is very strange for some couples mentioning offences upon offences which they claim they have forgiven. They rehearse a number of offences each time a new one is committed. . Anyone who does this never forgave in the first place.  A matter forgiven should not be rehearsed.

 CONFESSION

I love my spouse and therefore do not seek my advantage. I will always forgive errors and offences and will lay that matter to rest forever. I seek the ultimate good of both of us and indeed we will always triumph.

FURTHER STUDIES.

Malachi 2:16 “For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit that ye deal not treacherously”.

1 Peter 3:10-11. For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile: Let him eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and ensue it.

sharing simple truths