KEY SCRIPTURE: Matthew 18:15 (KJV). Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.
Human relationships are often laden with conflicts which has the potential to injure the relationship or severe it OUTRIGHT. God’s word shows us how to address such differences among fellow Christians. The scripture says if your brother shall trespass or act in a way that offends you, go to him and express your grievances to him or her. The scripture emphasized, meet with him alone. Simple problems could get complicate when others are brought in at the very early stages. Don’t complain to a third person, this advice is also extended to married couples as well. There are some couples who are quick to go to their parents about issues with their spouses. The word says talk over matters first with your partner alone.
The next instruction concerning addressing this conflict is, if the second party refuses to agree with you then call a third party, who would be a witness to whatever transpires. As a word of advice this third party should be an impartial person who would not take sides or inflame passions in a partial way. He is mainly a witness and may only comment in a very objective way. Every partial position would disqualify this person from contributing.
WHEN the offending party refuses to let go the MATTER, the church must be informed. The leadership of the church would be asked to also witness the proceedings. At this time, it can be two or three of the leadership of the church. The church according to the Lord is any number above one (Matt 18:20). If the offending party decides to resign his position and allow matters to go, then peace has been realized. If he should hold on to his grounds and would not allow matters to die in the presence of the church, even after the church has asked him or her to resign his or her position, then the church would consider him or her as a publican, or an unbeliever (Matt 18:17). They can pray in the name of the Lord declaring he or she is not part of the church, and an unbeliever. The Lord says, he is always in the midst of such a meeting, and considers the request of those brethren granted, even in heaven. (Matt 18:18,19)
I do not hold on to grudges, but always ready to let go matters. I endeavor always to keep the unity of the Spirit (brethren) in the bond of peace.
Ephesians 4:3 (KJV) “Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”
James 3:17 (KJV). “But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.”