KEY SCRIPTURE: Col 3:18 &19. “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them”.

In our previous discussions we have looked at the first two hindrances to a committed love to one’s spouse. They are External influences and bitterness due to unforgiveness. We now consider the third one. This is DIFFERENCES between the couples.

 There are no two humans who are the same. We have temperamental differences. Women are more relationally inclined, whiles a man seeks to conquer. Women are more emotional about issues, yet men are more analytical. As couples we come from different upbringings and have different outlook about a lot of things. The bible admonishes a man to live with his wife in knowledge since she is the weaker vessel, so his prayers would not be hindered. (1st Peter 3:7)

It is on the bases of these differences that the word of God gives different instructions to both the man and the woman. This is God’s instruction to the man. Colossians 3:19

“Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them”. And to the wife He said, Colossians 3:18 “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord”. Decisions and choices among couples often draw a bad blood between them. Some men, because they are the head of the home, on many occasions takes decisions without consulting with the wife. This is not in the Spirit of love. There may be certain decisions that may be unilaterally taken, but not every decision. Some of the women also do not care about the views of their husbands, and therefore act in ways that gives no honor to the husband. This also breaks God’s instruction to submit to the man.

There would be much peace and harmony if both parties would adhere to what God says. True love for each other would easily sort out any differences between the two of you. Couples normally relate to each other as a response to their partners actions. If the husband is loving, then the wife would also submit. If he is not caring and loving, then the wife would not submit. The Christian marriage is God’s assignment given to each of you with His terms of reference labelled out in His word. He says love your wife irrespective of whether she is submissive or not. The wife must also submit to her husband irrespective of whether he is loving or not. You are in the marriage not to do what you want but God’s instructions. Please listen to what God says about honoring his word or not. Colossians 3:24 &25 “Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ. But he that doeth wrong shall receive for the wrong which he hath done: and there is no respect of persons” Doing what God says is a victory for you.


I declare the peace of God to all marriages especially Christian homes. May the fear of God come upon all couples, bringing about obedience to the word of GOD.


Ephesians 5:23. “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body”.

Ephesians 5:33. “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband”.

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