KEY SCRIPTURE: Genesis 2:24. “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh”.

God the initiator of the marriage institution established laws and principles for the smooth running of the home. When couples adhere to God’s instructions, they would have a happy life and God would also be pleased with them. Secondly, failure to honor God’s word in the home can lead a man into hell. In one of our studies on this topic we said when couples totally commit their love to each other, they experience a kind of joy in life which is inexplicable. The sad truth is that many couples don’t know of this kind of joy. They are only bearing with each other in the home. Many couples deeply wished they had divorced, yet because of the demands of God’s word, they are bearing under it. Their message is YOU CAN’T COMPLAIN. Dear one this ought not to be so.

We listed three main things or areas that prevent couples from having that committed love, they are as follows:

1.External Influences

2.Bitterness resulting from unforgiveness.

3.Other differences

We looked at forgiving one another in our previous study. That next is EXTERNAL INFLUENCES. Note this, although they are external influences, they are mostly permitted by either one or both of the couples.. Some of these external influences are

1. Parental and the extended family roles that prevent either the man or the woman to totally love each other fully as required.

2. Friends who become like third parties to the marriage. These are friends who have become so influential to either the man or woman such that their views and attention compete seriously with that of the spouse.

3. Extra marital relationship like girlfriends or in some occasion’s boyfriends. This is a very serious interference of the home.

4. Children: Some fathers place a very high value and recognition for their children more than their wives. Some mothers also do so.

5.Mobile Phone Attention. This is a blow below the belt yet it happens. Some husbands or wives are so glued to their phones either chatting with somebody, or watching some videos. The worst of it are those who watch pornographic materials on their phones;

6.Some games or T V programs. Some men give all their evenings to watching football. Others would join their friends to watch these things. The women may also be captured by soap operas.

7.There are those who are addicted to certain substances like drugs; smoking Indian hemp, drinking alcohol, with some almost always boozed. (These things should not be mentioned among the saints.).

Dear husband or wife, all that have been mentioned above are within your power to put aside. LET YOUR SPOUSE BE NUMBER ONE and every other person or thing be secondary. If you allow any other thing to be first to your spouse, it will rob you of true joy which God Himself planned for every married couple to have. Remember your spouse is the ONLY person on earth with whom you are one flesh, not your father, mother, sister, brother, friend, boy or girl friend. Go for committed love to your spouse, for that is your joy in marriage.


I pray for myself and all couples. That the Lord would open their eyes to see where they are faltering. I pray they would be able to take away from their marriage every external influence in their marriage.


Genesis 2:24. Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall become united and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. [Matt. 19:5; I Cor. 6:16; Eph. 5:31-33.]

Hebrews 3:13. But instead warn (admonish, urge, and encourage) one another every day, as long as it is called Today, that none of you may be hardened [into settled rebellion] by the deceitfulness of sin [by the fraudulence, the stratagem, the trickery which the delusive glamor of his sin may play on him].

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